Lil guy

He's all tuckered out.

Running and playing all day.

He's just a lil guy...

Paradox of men.

Why is it in life

Great men are rarely good men?

The world needs them both.

When Harry Met Sally

Platonic male friends?

Plato proves it's possible...

but Plato was gay.

Awesome 101

Smile when on the phone.

You'll find that people can tell.

And call your mom more.

Read between the lines,

but not for sake of the lines.

Some lines are worth it.

A fork in the road,

will likely pop your tire.

So watch out for those.

Choices define you.

Make the interesting choice.

For your grand-kid's sake.

Nothing good to say?

Don't just sit there like a mute.

Tell some dirty jokes.

Be good to your earth.

It's the only one you get.

Break it, you bought it.

Lost Weekend

Sex-fueled Time Machine,

Turns one hour into six,

and makes you walk weird.

Groucho Glasses

Mustache and eyebrows,

the dream of my fucking life,

cost you two dollars.

-Guest Haikuist: Fat River Dumpling

Mana of the Gods

"Real" orange powdered cheese

Elbows of pasta angels

Perfect Harmony.

Feminism

Girls can do it all.

Politics, drive race cars, birth...

except open jars.

Words to slit your wrist to:

Don't treat me like sin.

Just because you're an angel.

Don't mean I believe.

Nothing I can do,

Nothing I can say,

I havethe Forelornsome Blues.

Silence and Absence,

By nature are pessimists.

Imagine the worst.

It's just that easy....haha

Secret to success:

To find a girl that you like,

and she likes you too.

Gypsy Tears

Bucket of Ice Cream

Endless supply of tissues

Good Hugh Grant Movie.

Guest Haikuist:

When shampooing hair

I like to lather it up

Into a mohawk.

Better than ALF

An english manny

"Just might live the good life yet".

-Mr. Belvedere.

Seriously, try it.

Tip from a monkey:

When peeling a banana,

use the other end.

Kitty Sweaters

Dear weird cat lady:

Stop dressing them like people,

makes you both look sad.

Left-overs?

Turkey and Football.

No better combination

to promote comas.

Being thankful means:

Pretend that you like football,

and eat the dark meat

Nutty Love

My sweet Nutella,

Oh how I long to taste you...

you're my dark treasure.

Hours from Starvation.

A hummingbird egg:

Smaller than a jelly bean,

but so were you once.

It's all fun and games...

Beware of game nights.

Scrabble fights can be worse than

infidelity.

Secret of Illusion:

When the whole world blinks

anything can disappear;

rabbits, girls, freedom...