Words to die to

Right before you die,

Whisper something memorable;

"This world isn't real..."

Facing certain death?

Get naked before you die.

Leave them wondering.

Best suicide note:

"There's nothing good on T.V.

Internet went out."

Your cats are evil.

When you die they WILL eat you.

They are just waiting.

When Harry Met Sally

Platonic male friends?

Plato proves it's possible...

but Plato was gay.

Lost Weekend

Sex-fueled Time Machine,

Turns one hour into six,

and makes you walk weird.

It's just that easy....haha

Secret to success:

To find a girl that you like,

and she likes you too.

Guest Haikuist:

When shampooing hair

I like to lather it up

Into a mohawk.