Bad Habits #87, 92 and 148

Staying up all night-

Peanut Butter, a big spoon.

Three o'clock haiku.

-Fat River Dumplin

Paradox of men.

Why is it in life

Great men are rarely good men?

The world needs them both.

Words to die to

Right before you die,

Whisper something memorable;

"This world isn't real..."

Facing certain death?

Get naked before you die.

Leave them wondering.

Best suicide note:

"There's nothing good on T.V.

Internet went out."

Your cats are evil.

When you die they WILL eat you.

They are just waiting.

When Harry Met Sally

Platonic male friends?

Plato proves it's possible...

but Plato was gay.

Awesome 101

Smile when on the phone.

You'll find that people can tell.

And call your mom more.

Read between the lines,

but not for sake of the lines.

Some lines are worth it.

A fork in the road,

will likely pop your tire.

So watch out for those.

Choices define you.

Make the interesting choice.

For your grand-kid's sake.

Nothing good to say?

Don't just sit there like a mute.

Tell some dirty jokes.

Be good to your earth.

It's the only one you get.

Break it, you bought it.

Racial Legos

Me: Broken Apart:

Red, red, red, white, white, white, white...

BLACK! How would you know?!

Arachniphobia my foot!

Why I am a man:

When I see a big spider,

I kill that Mo-Fo!

Lost Weekend

Sex-fueled Time Machine,

Turns one hour into six,

and makes you walk weird.

Groucho Glasses

Mustache and eyebrows,

the dream of my fucking life,

cost you two dollars.

-Guest Haikuist: Fat River Dumpling