12.30.2009

It's just that easy....haha

Secret to success:
To find a girl that you like,
and she likes you too.

Gypsy Tears

Bucket of Ice Cream
Endless supply of tissues
Good Hugh Grant Movie.

Wendy Peffercorn

Don't run at the pool.
Whistle blows: you must get out.
No guard on duty.

Guest Haikuist:

When shampooing hair
I like to lather it up
Into a mohawk.

12.12.2009

Goals gotz PWNED!

Stop chasing your dreams.
Instead, sneak up behind them
when they're not looking.

Better than ALF

An english manny
"Just might live the good life yet".
-Mr. Belvedere.

Seriously, try it.

Tip from a monkey:
When peeling a banana,
use the other end.

12.06.2009

Flux-capasitor

On my microwave
I pushed the "stop time" button
and nothing happened.

Kitty Sweaters

Dear weird cat lady:

Stop dressing them like people,

makes you both look sad.

Left-overs?

Turkey and Football.
No better combination
to promote comas.


Being thankful means:
Pretend that you like football,
and eat the dark meat

Nutty Love

My sweet Nutella,

Oh how I long to taste you...

you're my dark treasure.

Too cold

Early morning frost.
Skin tightens, breath plumes outward.
It smells like winter.

Fickle Hands

Promise versus Fate:
Since none can know the future,
they're empty as air.

Electronic Rudeness

Got a text message
of the laziest nature.
Just the letter "k".

11.05.2009

Secret of Illusion:

When the whole world blinks
anything can disappear;
rabbits, girls, freedom...

11.04.2009

Cure for the Blues

If you are idle,
then be not solitary.
Also vice-versa.

Dental Intelligence

Note on Wisdom Teeth:
You're not wise for having them,
but man do they smart!

Monkey See, Monkey Do...

Eating Bananas:
Take a hint from a monkey,
eat it upside down.

Daylight Savings

Use your hour well.
Read a book, fix your car, or...
be like me and sleep.

10.02.2009

8.01.2009

OB-GYN

In the Stirrups, please
Would you like me to numb it?
num num num num num

7.31.2009

5.04.2009

Game of Kings and Bums.

Plastic Bravery:
Pawns don't ask questions when told,
"Take one for the team".

Upon gallant steeds,
Knights move, stealth amongst chaos.
No force blocks their will.

Bishops drink too much.
Mystic men of light and dark,
Can't walk a straight line.

If you lose your queen,
Don't despair in life or chess,
Just promote a pawn.

3.10.2009

Introspective Travel

"Follow your heart". What?!
How can one do such a thing?
It's inside your chest...

Following one's heart:
First requires she steals it.
Then it's up to you.

3.01.2009

Give and Take

Ask for what you want.
Don't take what you can not keep.
Give what you don't need.

The Waiting Game

Most dreams will come true,
if you can wait long enough.
How long can you wait?

2.16.2009

"Quote me on this one..."

What keeps men honest
is rarely as simple as
what makes a man lie.

Two homes, both stink...

Smells of L.A.
Smog, hookers, and broken dreams
It's good to be home

In Oklahoma:
Enjoy blue skies, starry skies
Gentle smell of cow.